Don't worry..

No matter how hard it is..
I will try so hard to move on.
I wont fall into you anymore. I'm strong! I am.

i meant my leaving.
:)

1/2/2013

Dear you..

Helo February..
February is not a really good start for me. Malam tadi demam soo mula lah bertampal salonplas di kepala di bahu di belakang then baru dapat lena tidur.

Lia woke me up around 8.30 i guess. Sebab tengah mamai2 then jawab dia pin macam nak taknak. Sebab plan mula2 nak pergi bank Islam. So saying no kat lia sbb malas nak angkat.

Tarik selimut, sambung tidur balik. Bangun2 pun jam masih awal. Lia baru lepas mandi and i was like kejap kot i tidur tadi. Hahaaha.

Bergurau senda dipagi hari dengan Lia then dia turun class around 9.40. Badan masih sejuk gilaa so malas nak mandi. Kemas bilik berharap peluh kelua, tapi malangnya masih terasa sejuk. Hmmph.

So, terfikir jugak, kalau x ambil slip bank Islam harini, bila lagi nak ambil. Weekends bank x bukak. So plan nak kemas around 11.

Whatsapped aunty kalau2 dia boleh tlg. Yes! Printed! But then datang satu lagi problem. Mcm mana nak pass to me? Dia kat sibu i kat kuching.
Blank.
So terfikir nak mintak tolong dia fax. I text Srull tanya kalau2 dia ada pergi Library n tanya ttg service fax.
Okay ada!
Settle!!!
Tapi dia reply lagi, org jaga fax tu kelua.
Another problem in!
Nak taknak i kena kelua pergi d.i pergi Bank Islam.

Tengah seronok cuddlig with the bed, tiba2 blackout!!!!

Satu lagi masalah!!! Dayummmnnn. Nak mandi takut! Toilet pun gelap kot! Blackout lagiii.

I dengar org jerit2 kat lua. Besar! (Jack) ohh! Dia nak ke tandas, so dengan kesulitan yg dihadapi i need her to teman me mandi.

I mandi lagi cepat dr Besar kot! Hahahhaa cava was there too! Siap main dengan Torchlight. Actually tandas xla gelap mana. Ada lagi cahaya matahari menyinari tandas. I je mengada w imiginasi yg melampau terlampau! Hiks! Effect cerita ju-on! K nuff!!! Stop! Malam ni test drive tidur sorang sebab roomate semua balik rumah hikhikhikkkkkkk! Evil laugh! Lol!

Dengan berbekalkan kekuatan yg ada So i jalan pergi d.i sorang2. Walaupun demam,i redah jugak! Ceyyyy!Settle pasal bank, terjumpa dgn Afza n suzanne yg kebetulan nak pergi makan. Ok. I joined them sekali.

Habis makan around 1 they planned mak pergi Yunaco beli barang. So i x ikut sbb takut lambat. Physics at 2.

Balik2 bilik jam pukul 1.20. Rest kejap, then turun class around 1.40.

Sampai lab, Aqila said sir will be late. Sir masuk pun tak la lambat sgt kan. So around 2.05.

Ambil past year test paper for exercise and dia suruh sign attendance. Then balik. Sebab sir ada workshop to be attend. Okayyy!!!!!

Memang terbaik! Thats why its hard for me to hate physics! Haha.

Finally terkeluarlah peluh akibat kepanasan keletihan dan ke ke ke ke ke ke! Watever!

So nothing to do. Rasa nya nak beradu.

Baiklahhhh. Babai!

Assalamualaikum

_Ai xx

31/1/13 pt.2

Dear you..
I baru balik dari night class.
Maths! Lol

I can swear i am too tired and i've no idea apa yg miss aja kat depan. Luckily benda yg miss aja, kitorang pernah belajar before ni..

Class sejam setengah and i was like 'sikit2 tengok jam'. 9.30 habis class i was rushing back to the hostel.

Tengah2 laju jalan balik i terfikir , tak ada apa pun tunggu i kat bilik melainkan buku dan katil untuk dimanja.

Life is different now. I'll try to move on. I'm still young. Long way to go. Enjoy life.

_Ai xx

31/1/2013

Dear you...

Good morning! Looking out the window, its cloudy . Class at 10 kat blok m oh ok. Turun pukul 9.35 lah.

Bel class. 3 jam! 3 jam!!!!!! ;( zzzzzzzz

So, i was thinking of letting you go. Hmm to be specific, i'm the one who'll leave.
I cannot be the best. I'm tired of trying to be one yet, FAILED!

Lifeless

Nahh. Now focus on to be white coated lady.

Ignore everything around u. Just do ur best n pruf to everyone 'orang slow pun boleh weyy' hiks :)

Slow? Oh did i forget to mention it before?

I am slow learner. :) sometimes i'm proud to be one . sebab after class bila i sorang2 tinggal so miss or madam or sir boleh focus kat kitew jewwww hiks!

Thats all for now.

Breakfast, get ready, class.

Toodles!

_Ai xx

Tmr?

Dear you..

Bel at 10 tomorrow so chilllllll.

I'm now having physics as my bed time story! Lulz

_Ai xx

30/1/13

Dear you...

I woke up at 3.30 just to woke Q up for his final. And went back to bed after no reply from him.

Woke up at 6.30, he did sent me sweets text which really a good start for wednesday haha.

I was smiling everywhere. Love is in the air and i'm deeply in love with him.

Bila kita inlove, setiap apa yg kita buat mesti indah. Ceyyyy.
So i learnt a lot in maths class today. And i'm sooooo into everything i did just now.

Until....
After class i called him.
He was like shouting,but actually he was not. He can't hear me.

I was sulking.

And it leads me to go on twitter and i saw his 'friend' profile. Okay. They're still hanging out?

Like really? I called him. He scolded me. Like i just want to know the truth. Is it wrong for me? Is it fair enough for me????!

I went down buying reload. Idk. If you nak kawan,kawan je lah. Apa masalahnya. Just jujur je kot dengan i. Takyau nak tipu kanan tipu kiri nanti dah kawen u still nak buat camni kat i? I tak sanggup !

Okay positive. Kawan je pun kan. So his friend was telling me she was hang out with oddy n wan where Q kat rumah je tido. Accepted much?

Okay nuff. I'm tired.

Chemistry quiz after this. Semua ni distract much!

I love you,Q. But is it fair to me to go through all this alone? Okay. I'll be fine.

Positive.

Positive.

Positive.

_Ai xx

:)

Andai aku adalah tulang rusukmu yang telah hilang

Aku berharap

Jika nanti Allah mempertemukan kita

Kau akan selalu membimbingku

Agar aku menjadi wanita yang solehah

Yang nantinya akan menjadi bidadarimu di syurga

Kerana aku ingin kita akan disatukan di dunia dan akhirat


Andai kau ditakdirkan untuk menjadi ayah buat anakku

Jadilah ayah yang boleh mendidik anak kita

Agar mereka nanti menjadi anak kebanggaan buat kita di dunia dan akhirat

Iaitu anak yang soleh dan solehah

Yang dapat menjunjung tinggi Agama Allah

Andai engkau ditakdirkan untukku

Ku harap kau boleh menjadi imam buatku dan anakku

Kau boleh menjadi pemimpin yang baik dalam rumah tangga kita

Kau boleh mencintai aku apa adanya

Dan boleh mengurus kekuranganku dengan penuh kebijaksanaan

Dan andai aku salah

Tegurlah aku dengan kata-katamu yang penuh dengan kelembutan dan kebijaksanaan

Andai aku marah

Belailah rambutku dengan penuh kasih sayangmu

Agar marahku boleh berubah menjadi kelembutan

Andai aku lupa

Ingatkanlah aku dengan penuh kasih sayang

Agar nanti kau tetap menjadi suri tauladan bagiku dan anak kita

Kerana….

Aku hanya mengharapkan imam yang baik dalam rumah tanggaku

Yang selalu dapat membawa aku ke jalan yang diredhaiNya

Jalan yang menuju syurgaNya bersama dirimu'


P/s i got this from internet. Thank you Mr. Google! Hugs

You

Dear you..

Dari lepas isya' menghadap chemistry.

At 11 suddenly phone beeping.
Someone replied.

Yayy! Q!
He just done w his revision! Alololo. I called him. We talked. But then okay credit tak memadai. So he called me back.

I love him more and more everyday. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.

He's like the cure to my pain. We're both busy with classes. Plus, he's having final now! Anddd he'll flying back home. Omg i just can't express how i feel!!!! Almost 5 months we didn't meet! :(

Went through hard time together. Up and down, he never move, even a step! He loves me. He loves my flaw. He loves my imperfection.

*menaip dengan berlatarbelakangkan lagu dealova. Oh cukup indah. K

We talked and talked and i asked him on chemistry. Say what? I didn't even understand what he's trying to say, cause i feel his voice! Hahahaha. I love you. I really do.

I treated him so bad yet he still there. Stay.

I scolded him, accused him,but, he still there. Stay.

Thank you,you..
Thank you for trying to be the best.
Thank you for always being there.
Thank you cause you still keep the promises that u made to my parents.
I wish i can love you as much as you do!

'i'll make you my wife, i'll lead you to Jannah insyaAllah one day'

May Allah fullfil our doa. Amin Amin yarabbal alamin.

I know it still long way to go.

-Allah
-Rasulullah
-parents
-sister/brothers
-study
-best career@white coated lady insyaAllah

Marry you ;) :p

So i'm gotta off nowww. Sleeeeep.

_Ai xx

29/1/13

Dear you...

I baru sahaja lepas habis makan and somehow rasa macam menyesal.

Burpppppp 'alhamdulillah,excuse me'

Berusaha untuk melangkah ke cafe untuk membeli makanan and finally i got myself nasi pattaya and teh c special n longan susu for dinner.

Semuanya demi chemistry quiz esok hari. Kalau perut lapar nak belajar pun xfocus kan. So now bila dah kenyang mata mula kuyu layu mengantuk nak tidooooooooooooo!

So i tend to play game jap n writing this,!

Okay berhenti jap cause there's knocking at the door

Arghhhhh cavalera!!!!!!!!! Cava siap buat huraikan rambut penuh kat depan n bila i buka pintu i siap stunted jap. Asal hantu pakai baju biru. Dayummnnnnnmnmmn cavaa then i was screaming her name! She sent me my bio lab and omg! I feel like killing her!!!!!

Mana x, kalau dh dua minggu ni heboh pasal 'benda tu' .

So today, chemistry class cancel so class start at 10. Huyeahhh. But still i bangun awal, did laundry and read some notes.

Bel macam biasa boring gila till i can't control myself from keep talking w clarence, Vony n Sylvia to avoid i TER-mengantuks. Haha. Somehow Bel cool sbb macam2 jokes in english boleh TERkelua secara TERsengaja. Ahaks.

Then, i'm having CTU at 4. I'm now loving CTU. Along is a new friend i met there. Ustaz cool cause dia ajar pun best. So everyone is happy n i'm happy happy too. :))

Balik bilik around 6. Balik2 tengok Lia and Fini tengah layan cerita minyak dagu. Dush. I was first macam tah papa lol cerita tu but then tengok dorang dua tak move n bersungguh2 tgk, i ikut skali join. Irony haihh.

Sooo. Tomorrow chemistry quiz. I wonder if i can perform well. Sebab chemical bond i masih goyang2. Unbalance! Gezett.

Okay. Thats all for now. Toodles!

_Ai xx

Ayah

Ayah once told me,

' buat baik dengan semua orang tanpa mengharapkan balasan. Satu hari kita pasti akan memerlukan bantuan dan mungkin bukan orang yang sama membantu tapi akan ada org lain yg sedia membantu'

Ayah was right!

Another gloomy day

Hello hello hi.

Dear you..
Today is not my day. Everything screwed up!

I did not perform well in biology quiz.
I forgot we're having chemistry quiz this week which it supposed to be tomorrow but alhamdulillah it been posponed till wednesday.

Lastly..

I failed my maths test. Darn! ;( yes i admit that i didn't perform well during the test. I studied, i forgot. I didn't apply what i learn in real life.

I wonder how it will affect my final mark exam. Just imagine. 23/50 it not even half man. I might just hang myself in the room, sooner or later this room become haunted room aaaaah! Astaghfirullahalazim.

I whatsapped mum. Telling her i gave up. But then, she replied me after an hour telling me to not give up n as usual, she supported me with all she has!

I don't know. I feel totally down. Broken or should i say? I'm noob enough to go through all this?

I'm tired. ;(

_Ai xx

Gloomy sunday

Now on my way to the airport.

Whatsapping Zie asking whether she can fetch me later at the airport. Unfortunately no. She's not feeling well and she can't drive.

Blank.

How to tell dad? Mum?
So i planned to call uncle Boon, taxi driver.

My safety? Uhh. I called Qay asking for his opinion. 'By, can i just call taxi to send me back to the campus' 'NO' ok fine.

He intimidated me if i'm not telling parents, he himself gonna tell them. What a sick! Showing that he care, ohhhh so lovely. No!

I then told ayah. He started to nagging. Aaaaaaaa ;( i know you want the best for me ayah, insyaAllah i'll be safe.

Discuss with mum and we called uncle Boon.

Yay! He can fetch me up. Lol rezeki masuk siapa mau tolak maaaaa.

Honestly, i feel disapointed with myself like seriously.

I made mum n dad worried. :( i'm sorrryyyy sweethearttt!!! :(

Ayah advising me the whole way to airport. Alololo i know u love me. I know you're worried. Don't be mad,ayah! Later u miss me a lot!

I love u so muchhhhh mum dad!

Okay,gtg for now. I can feeeeeel the airport dy. shoot!

Toodles!

_Ai xx

Home

Yayy! I'm home. Finally home after 3 weeks away. Lol! Feels like heaven. Ahhhhhh. Home sweet home.


_Ai xx

Sitting here.

Alone.

Thinking on how my future will be.

What am i doing now is pretty tough.

Struggling, hard work, wish they worth. insyaAllah ..

_Ai xx

To grab the challenge and never let it go

Keep moving. Never look back. No matter how hard thing is, no matter how hard th obstacle is, i know i can get through all this.

Unproductive day

Assalamualaikum. Hi. Hey. Hello.

Soooo, today, nothing intresting. Since public holiday, i pampered myself with foods and bio notes! Tomorrow quiz so yeahh what to do? Study ahh.

Woke up at 8, looking around, Mira still on her bed,okay my crime partner still tidur, baik i tidur balik ahh so i took my phone from the charger n slept again.

Woke up at 11 something. Ahhh feel fresh.
Got mum's whatsapp 'where are you'
Replied her by saying,'mum, baru bangun'
And she was like 'orang dara kenot bangun lambat' oh mum i just did. Sorrrrrryyy. I couldnt help myself. Lia's bed was so seducing and i can't afford to say no. Zzzzzzzzzzz -.-

Done w the laundry, i went to mini mart planning to buy dynamo n brush since I MUST LEARN TO WASH CLOTHES DAILY. stop kumpul2 baju, end up kena bazir rm2 untuk cuci guna machine padahal boleh pulak cuci guna manual (gosok guna tangan).

K sambung.

First, dah set kat mind nak beli brush n dynamo, but then tangan start ambil and ambil and ambil UNNECESSARY THINGS. Darn. bakul for toileteries since all this while i guna gayung untuk letak shampoo, and all those things.
Then, pusing2 then terfikir 'pas ni nak study so i need something to eat'
So i started to hunt for food. Eh salah, FOODS. To be specific, JUNK FOOD. Zzzzzzz. Mula2, i saw this bun, took two and jalan kat tempat lain, oh chocolates, took one bar n milo kotak.

Estimate barang less than 10 but then okay i've to pay 20 fr things i bought. Failed in saving!

Went back to room and started to read bio notes. Lol, i can't focus. Qay whatsapping nonstop like seriously he's being too clingy these days. Oh okay he's cute that way.

And end up, i'm here writing.


Salam Maulidur Rasul

_Ai xx

Salam Maulidur Rasul

Few friends sending me this on whatsapp last night and i decided to share it here :)

اَللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى سيّدنا مُحَمَّدٍ وَ عَلَى آلِ سيّدنا محمد

▹​​Malaikat saja sanggup menghitung jumlah titisan air hujan yg jatuh ke muka bumi ini...tp 1 yg tdk sanggup dia hitung iaitu jumlah Pahala orang yg berselawat kpd Rasulullah SAW

<3 آللّهُمَ صَلّیۓِ ۈسَلّمْ عَلۓِ سَيّدنَآ مُحَمّدْ<3 :) آللّهُمَ صَلّیۓِ ۈسَلّمْ عَلۓِ سَيّدنَآ مُحَمّدْ:) <3 آللّهُمَ صَلّیۓِ ۈسَلّمْ عَلۓِ سَيّدنَآ مُحَمّدْ<3 :) آللّهُمَ صَلّیۓِ ۈسَلّمْ عَلۓِ سَيّدنَآ مُحَمّدْ:) <3 آللّهُمَ صَلّیۓِ ۈسَلّمْ عَلۓِ سَيّدنَآ مُحَمّدْ<3 :)

Salam maulidur rasul 😘 moga kecintaan kta ke atas junjungan besar baginda semakin bertambah.

should i say 'a new start'

Assalamualaikum. Helo. Hi. Hey.

idk how to start.
i'd been thinking for a month to make a come back. (oh comeback lah sangat) lulz
idk what brought me here.

instead of tweeting,posting in twitter,facebook,i choose to write here .

-be good. 'new year resolution'-

_Ai xx